I feel defeated.
I’m still in the process of figuring out what this project is ultimately going to look like. Will I be blogging multiple times a day or week? Should I be posting more podcast content? Do I have time to read smaller books this year?
So I’ve really had to evaluate my priorities for the past 24 hours and I think I know where I will be going from here.
You know that I overstretch myself…like all the freaking time. It is a real problem. I tell my friends I can help them with their project and then I start another side project with someone and then I set a challenge for myself and then I sign up for a course on blogging but never finish it. The list goes on and on. It’s not like I am a newbie at this. I should have learned my lesson by now. Hell, I read the book Essentialism and yet I am committing the exact sins that the book warned about. I am not nearly saying no to enough things and I’m not focusing on one project.
Every year I tell myself things will be different. But do I ever learn? Nope.
I can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and act as if I’m growing. I’m running an infinite race and will never reach the finish line.
Now, the year of big books is not ending. Not a chance. This is something I have wanted to do for a while and I’m excited about it. But my involvement on this site may change a bit.
For example, I’m probably going to stop it with the chapter by chapter blog posts.
It sucks because I really love writing these. But I would be lying if I told you they don’t take a hella long time to write and an even longer time to take notes. Seriously, the time it takes me to get through a book feels doubled when taking notes. It isn’t that taking notes doesn’t help. It helps a lot! My reading comprehension and intake is just not good for a reader. But right now when I’m in a time crunch, taking notes isn’t the most proactive thing to be doing.
Believe me when I say I love writing to you. But I hope you understand why I need to take a step back.
I still haven’t found a new job. Blogging is awesome, but I need to move out of my parents house. I need to find a job so I can eat food and keep my Netflix subscription. Plus I need money to buy more books for my future library. Duh.
And so I need to use my time to focus on independent me. Blogging has to take a back seat.
And you know what else is taking a back seat? Small books! Yep, I thought I could handle them but I simply can’t. Once again, it is all about saying no to things and focusing on the goal. Big books is my goal. I don’t know why I assumed it could be any other way.
Despite this feeling of defeat that lurks in my stomach and is all too familiar, I’m excited about these decisions I am making. I am becoming more focused and only hope that will make this project stronger.
Until next time, friend. Danielle
P.S. I’m so freaking excited for Beauty and the Beast. Like, I’m cry every time I watch that brand spanking new trailer. No trailer has moved me for this film like the final one. And Emma Watson? She is so beautiful that it literally hurts. Like, hurts my heart! The excitement I feel know no bounds.